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Saturday, May 31, 2014

When Relationships Fall Apart

One of the hardest things in life to deal with is when our relationships fall apart.  It's natural to question everything.  Who's right?  Who's wrong?  Why is this happening?  Did I make a mistake?  Were there warning signs? Should I have seen this coming?  What now? Can I trust anyone?  I've experienced this on numerous occasions in my life.  I've had friendships come apart at the seams after years of being close. 

Copyright by Voice From The End of Town/Pure Maiden Photography

I've seen many people go through long drawn out seasons of doubt, depression, anger, low self-esteem and loneliness due to the "breakup" of a relationship.  Personally I've gone through those same issues and I was given little to no good advice.  Many times the advice given is to "just forget" that person.  The impression is that you get someone in your life to replace them.  After my experiences, I definitely don't think like that.  I believe when relationships fall apart you should do a little soul-searching.  I don't think you should try to take your mind off of the broken place you are in emotionally and try to find another relationship to get into. That mindset only perpetuates pain.  Nothing is gained and so much is lost.

*What I write here can be related to more than just friendships however I 'm specifically dealing with friendships below.  
For me, there are three things that help bring healing and peace when a relationship falls apart.  The first is

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Who is GOD?

So many times as we walk through life with all it's many ups and downs -- all the problems we face -- we tend to not elevate ourselves towards God but instead bring HIM down to our level.  

We start believing that God feels the same way about people that we do and vice versa... In our minds, God becomes judgmental, erratic, unloving, only interested in a list of DO's and DON'Ts.  We think God is vindictive, mean, withholding good from us.  Or worse, we see HIM as totally ignoring us as if we don't exist.  We see HIM confined and restricted by the same faults that humanity is confined and restricted by.



There is NO ONE who is EQUAL to GOD.

There is NONE OTHER like HIM.

That means that HE can become NO BETTER than he already is.

That means that HE ALREADY knows everything.
If at anytime HE needed to know something more it would mean HE COULD NOT BE GOD.
HE would CEASE TO EXIST because HE would not be PERFECTION.

HE is present EVERYWHERE.
If there is anywhere where GOD is not present then HE CANNOT BE GOD.


Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 & the Changes It Brought

2013 started off just like any other year for me.  We were struggling to make ends meet and unsure how the year would turn out.  My husband, who has worked in the construction industry for as long as I've known him, was being used by his employer.  I really shouldn't explain it that way because he really was a sub-contractor not an employee but I don't know how else to put it right now.  No matter how hard he tried to get another company to use him, he could find no one else but the builder he worked for.  The company kept dropping the price on what they would pay for the different kinds of work done till it seemed that my husband was working for just enough money to get to the next job.  Bills were stacking up and frustration was mounting.

When people look at us, it sounds crazy.  Most people wouldn't think from looking at us that things were rough.  Most people assume we live an easy life but it was so bad that we were back on food stamps yet again.  Now there is nothing wrong with being in need and having to go on food stamps however, there is a stigma attached to food stamps.  Most people don't even think about their attitude it just comes out.  Unless you're dressed in raggedy clothes, when you swipe that EBT card, people look at you like you're cheap skates just trying to scam the system not honest folk having a hard time making ends meet.

Then things started turning around.  My closest friend did something for me that most people would never dream to do.  She went online and registered me for classes with Liberty University....AND THEN SHE TOLD ME WHAT SHE HAD DONE!  Crazy !!!! Right?  Funny things is it was exactly what I needed.  It was exactly what I wanted.  I honestly had to thank her.  She was also my husbands accountant so she had all the information to quickly do my financial aid once I knew about it.  So I went back to college on top of continuing to home-school my youngest son.  Not long after I went back to school my husband dropped off his resume at a store that does patio doors, windows and rooms while driving between construction sites. Within days he was called in to meet with the boss and he became a service technician for them.  Things were looking good.  The pressure was lifting and his income was enough to severely reduce any food stamps we were getting so we ask them to stop the food stamps.  That felt good.  That felt really good.

Mid-year we changed churches and I found the place I was supposed to be.  I began to grow spiritually like I needed to grow and before too long I started teaching the kids and the E.W. Dance Team was created. Through out all of this I was working with my friend (the accountant) to get our business in an office.  Finally, around August we found the right place and began to prepare the space for our office needs.  We worked through till the middle of November before we were able to have our Grand Opening/Ribbon Cutting Ceremony.  Because we are newly opened and are slowly building our clientele, we are making no money yet.  (We are building the business with our first goal to get to our break even point.  Then we can finally get paid  A week later my youngest son (Joel,) my husband and myself were in Atlanta preparing for open heart surgery.  My son had been in need of surgery to replace his aortic valve and ascending aorta and we jumped on the chance to have it done before Thanksgiving when the opportunity rose.  The surgery went well but was 10 hours long and he didn't recover as quickly from the surgery as they expected him too.  Two days later he needed a transfusion and we've been dealing with issues from the transfusion and slow recovery since then.  As we came into December he was running fevers, I was working my schoolwork and trying to take care of business while my husband worked.  By mid-December my schoolwork ended and I got a little break, Joel stopped running fevers and his recovery sped up some.  In the business, we started moving on several clients work to prepare them for the new year.  THEN...

The week before Christmas, my husband got laid off.

So here we are getting ready to end 2013 and walk into 2014 and there is no income.  It's bad enough right now as this year ends that I need to go and reapply for food stamps.  2013 began with at least an income coming in although it was not good enough to meet our needs.  2014 is going to begin with NO income coming in and yet, crazy as it may sound, I feel better off than I did a year ago.  I had no hope as 2012 turned into 2013 but I have hope now... as 2013 turns into 2014.  In 2013 we accomplished so much! Things happened in 2013 that I had wondered when and if they ever would.  2013 changed my life.  No matter how it ends, no matter how we come into 2014 I'm only taking the good forward and believing 2014 can't help but be better.

Happy New Year!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Just Deal With It

Lately I've been having memories of painful events and times in my life.  These memories have found their way back into my mind.  I've broken down crying without explanation just straight out of the blue.  These memories are ones that I didn't get or didn't take the time to deal with.  I pressed them down, corked them and set them aside. The only problem is that when I did that I set myself up for a time like this.  A time when there is nothing I can do to stop these memories from coming up.  I can't just push them down anymore because they won't go away.  

In the midst of this (with some help) I've come to the realization that it's time to just deal with it. The emotions and the hurt that I've tried to hide from has found me and it's time for a confrontation.  Over time, as we don't deal with our hurts and hangups, we set up a domino effect and the effect grows. All it takes for us to blow up or break down is for the right trigger to be tapped.  

Monday, July 8, 2013

Forgiven Little or Forgiven Much?

If you have been in the church long enough you've probably heard the story of the alabaster box.  If you don't remember the alabaster box you may remember the woman who came into the house where Jesus was and washed his feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.  It comes out of Luke chapter 7.  Once she had dried his feet with her hair she anointed his feet.  This was done through breaking her alabaster box full of perfume over his feet.  Well, I didn't grow up hearing about the alabaster box or the woman but I did hear the scriptures that came after it.  It was a parable that Jesus told the Pharisee.    

Voice From The End of Town
Luke 7:40-47

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Taking In the View and Finding Insights Along the Way

I've been home from my road trip to Pennsylvania for about a little over a week now.  I'm back, and things have still not slowed down!  In fact, things have gotten more hectic!  I just started week seven in my English and Health classes and also started week one in my New Testament Survey and Evangelism classes.  If I didn't just take time away from something else to sit here and write right now you'd still be waiting for my next post.  

The trip I took was a LONG road trip to Pennsylvania.  This was a business trip for me but you won't hear anything about that here.  I would like to share with you 10 insights I gathered along the way.

INSIGHT 1 - This is an example of the beautiful vista's we had a chance to watch pass by.  The mountains slowly swelling on both sides of us like waves on an ocean.  It was magnificent!  How many times have you taken a road trip and really looked at the wonder of God's creation?  Not concentrated so much on the road and the drivers but God's workmanship.  It's so easy to get caught up in the need for speed and jockeying for position on the road.  Getting to our destination becomes more important than the journey.  So if the journey isn't important then how we conduct the journey isn't important either, right?  But God cares!  Ultimately we are all on a journey towards a face to face meeting with God Almighty.  

HE is definitely interested in us getting to that destination but HOW we get there, 
our journey will have so very much to say about where our final destination is.  
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